How NOT to have a THREESOME

Ever wonder how to go about NOT HAVING a threesome with 2 extremely limber hot girls?

Well lucky for you, I can tell you, in detail, how to NOT have one.

I met these 2 hot hot hot 20 year old girls in the VIP Lounge at the Palms. They were complaining to the front desk that they were denied access to "Ditch Fridays" pool party at the hotel because they weren't 21. Ridiculous, I know. Where the hell were their fake I.D.'s? Anyway, being the very nice man I am, I offered my assistance (with absolutely no ulterior motive).

I invited them up into the Sky Villa I was staying in to swim in the private infinity pool. They enjoyed it and for some reason were quite impressed with the suite (I have no idea why). We exchanged numbers and I told them to call me if they wanted to "Hang Out." They called (surprised?) Begin to read carefully please. The following is very important.

We met up at about 8pm the next night and I picked them up in my Black Pimped out 'Scalade (That's Escalade for the stupids). They looked real good and seemed very eager for some fun. Then my stupid ass mouth opened up.

ME: "You girls look great. Damn. So what you girls want to do tonight?"
Girl #1: "Hmmm, how about we have a threesome?"
ME: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, yea why don't we find a quiet place to pull over. Is that ok?"
Girl #1 & 2: Lets do it, hehe High Five!!" (They really said and gave each other a High Five)
ME: "Let's do it!"

While driving up a dark windy road to get to my house......

ME: "So, do you girls mind if I ask you a question?"
Girl #1: "Go for it."
ME: "Im a little older than you girls and was just wondering how often you two do this"
Girl #2: "What do you mean? Like have threesomes?"
ME: "No. Like go out in some random dudes' ride, going who the hell knows where, without any idea who I am."
Girl #2: "Shut the fuck up, not funny. Seriously shut the fuck up!!"
Girl #1: "Are you kidding me right now?"
Girl #2: "Dude not cool."
ME: "No for real. You dont know me, you girls are tiny and young and really should be more careful in the future."
Girl #2: "Dude shut the fuck up and stop it, you're scaring me."
ME: "Im not trying to Sc..."
Girl #1: "Are you fucking stupid? What the hell is wrong with you?"
Girl #2: While Crying... "Please stop. Please Turn around and take us back."
Girl #1: "I may be tiny but I'll fucking rip your face off! Turn the hell around NOW!!!"
ME: "Ohhh k, that was just a tip from experience ladies. I didnt mean to scare you. I feel very retarded right now. I havent slept in a couple days, Im delirious.
Girl #1: "Whatever dick. Just take us back."
ME: "Ok ok."

Pulling up to the MGM where they were staying......... As the girls were exiting my car...

ME: "Well that didnt go very well. Wanna get together another time?"
Girl #1: "Go Fuck yourself dick!!!"
ME: "What about you?"
Girl #2: Blank Stare and then she gave me the finger.

And that ladies and gentlemen, is how NOT to have a threesome.

Life Lesson #92

"When you have nothing nice to say, dont say anything at all." = MOMS (They were Right)!!