The Streets of San Francisco

CAUTION

Please do not reenact the following story or attempt to perform any of the epic stunts contained within. These stunts were performed by a trained professional - AN IDIOT

What you are about to read is true. Completely True.....

Night #1 - Palms

So all my buddies came to Las Vegas this weekend for one of our close friends' 22nd birthday. We'll call him Snickers. On our first night, after everyone got into town, we all started drinking, apparently too much for a specific someone. We were staying at the Rio but we spent all night at the Palms Casino. There were 8 of us guys and a few girls and girlfriends and we were scattered throughout the casino playing some BJ.

Got to be about 3am when we drunkenly decided to start round 2 at Crazy Horse 3 (A fine establishment). We gathered up the crew and on our way over in our huge ass yellow hummer limo (Thank You http://www.doinvegas.com/), we noticed someone was missing, we'll call this genius Kit Kat.

We called his cell phone, between all of us, about 1000 times; no answer. We turned the Hummer around and were dropped back off at the Palms to look for Kit Kat. We began the search and divided the casino up so there was no way we could miss him. At this time it was about 530am and still no sign of Kit Kat. Still not picking up his phone. Kit Kat's girlfriend, let's call her Milky Way, was crying hysterically, wouldn't shut the hell up, and being a 23 year old girl, you can imagine there was nooo drama there, ha. We lied and told her it would be fine and we all passed out.

Day #2 = Palms Security

Still no sign of Kat, a few of the people thinking this was more than just a drunken pass out that happens all the time in vegas, went to palms security to attempt to view the tapes from last night. Haha, watching a bunch of college kids asking the Palms security to view their tapes was priceless. They didn't get to view them.

No word, no call, no nothing. At this point Milky Way is out of control, my friends were getting a little worried and I was getting pretty upset because my friends would NOT stop asking me for help finding Kit Kat when I was on a pretty good run playing BJ at the Rio.

Night #2 - The Morgue

A few of the more caring individuals, they will be called Candy Canes, were getting quite scared and decided to check the local morgues in vegas for John Does. No Joke. They went to one and another looking for a 24 year old male that was found the night before. You would be surprised how many John Does matching that exact description were lying up in those morgues (Who'd a thought right?) I must admit, at this point even I was getting a little scared...the Giants were losing and my 5 Game parlay didnt look like it was going to come through. I was very perturbed.

Day #3 - The Call

Milky Way picks up her phone around 7am Sunday, from a weird area code. Guess who it was...the man, the myth, the legend.......Kit Kat. Mumbling like a drunken hobo, he said he was someone in an alley and didn't know where he was. He managed to get picked up by the police and taken to the nearest hospital.

Turns out that Kit Kat got so drunk playing BJ at the Palms with some random dudes (Gay Right?) he decided to hop on a bus to do some coke and party it up with 3 random guys heading back to where they lived. SAN FRANFRIGGINCISCO. HAAHAHA.

I dont talk to the Candy Man anymore but the story does have a happy ending. He wasn't dead, He got to see a beautiful cities back alleys, He got to do coke, He got to be on a bus with a bunch of strange men, had his best friends going to random morgues to look for his unclaimed body. All in all, pretty good weekend.

Life Lesson #23

What happens in Vegas should not end up in San Francisco.