I was at The Rio entertaining some clients of mine from the east coast. I normally would have taken them to The Palms or Caesars Palace or something, but they wanted The Rio. The Doggie does what he's told.
I had to go to the bathroom (Number 2) so I went to the nearest restroom. I usually scout out the best looking stall. Taking into consideration: cleanliness, appearance, smell, and surrounding occupation of close stalls.
I was in quite the Rush and lacked the time to perform my routine occular inspection, dropped trou, sat down, and you can guess the rest. As I was in "Go Mode" I noticed 2 pairs of feet in the stall next to me. They were some big feet, had to be two dudes, unless Andre the Giant had a sister I didn't know about. I Heard some ruckus and started to listen in. As I listened I heard the following: "This is by far the worst hand job I have ever had, yuck."
The situation was weird to say the least, but being the stupid, obnoxious, sac of sh*t that I am, under my breath I said, "Use more wrist." They Heard. They Heard it ALL.
Sounds of zippers, frustration, and panic dancing of the feet ensued. They Responded, "Mind your own business, A**hole;" In which I quipped, "When there's a chance of mansplosion in my vincity, it is my damn business. I dont want my feet getting impregnated with your protein shake!!!!" (I thought it was pretty clever) They did not respond. I heard the stall door open, and the restroom door shortly there after open and shut.
Keep in mind, I have nothing against gay people, in fact my best friend is gay. The truth is......
Life Lesson #48
When there is someone going to the bathoom next to you, be courteous, keep all manonaise to yourself.
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